I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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