i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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