is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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