dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
