Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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