Tell her she can't have a vagina
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
