So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
