We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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