So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
