she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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