i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
