I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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