I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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