Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
