He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I look excited, but its just a facade.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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