quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
