when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
