Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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