Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
