Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
