Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
