I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I currently don't understand fingers.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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