If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
