wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
