sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
