You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
