RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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