i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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