on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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