I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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