do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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