You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
