but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
