Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i believe in u and ur pee
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
