i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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