..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
