I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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