How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
