What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
