there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
