Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
