If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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