gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
