You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
