I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
