Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
MIDGETS
????
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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