Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
