Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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