I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
