I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
